Command & Conquer: Smurfs vs Snorks
by Nigel Yearning
Summary: Citizenship: The Smurfs vs. The Snorks, no rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who's the best. Biological Wunderwaffes are added to give things a twist as they bring in their guns and bombs, viewer discretion is advised.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that were created by someone else**

**Claimer: Go to my profile to view my characters**

_**It has been about a human generation ever since the Smurfs and Snorks came and go, but the debating question is who's better. Several question's persist on who's better, some argue the snorks who could breath underwater. Some argue the smurfs who has air support, the debating question might come to an end here. **_

_**Citizenship's FanFiction Proudly Presents...**_

_**Command & Conquer: Smurfs vs. Snorks**_

This will be an experiment, an experiment to see who is the best of the best. This would take place somewhere near the ocean, but the battle will be fought on dry land thanks to the amphibious ability of the snorks. However, the snorks can only breath Salt Water and not Freshwater. And since they are going to be on dry land, they could go so long without Saltwater to breath that they would expire in 3 days.

"Come on gang," said AllStar as his friends pushed through the vegetation, "There is a Salt Water Lake we can use around here."

AllStar was carrying Occy around his back during the long hike, when they approached the lake it was small. About 50 square meters big, AllStar drops Occy into the lake and the red octopus is relieved by the saltwater.

"How many of us and them are going to be?" asked Dimmy.

"About a hundred, the smurfs as they call them would be here any minute." said AllStar, "We would battle it out at noon, they're going to be bombs, fire, and pretty much pure carnage. I hope Dr. Gallio knows what he's doing, cause I'm sure these bottles of saltwater won't last for long."

Meanwhile, the entire smurf village had been air dropped by storks into the opposite end of the forest. They managed to camp out in a pre-built mushroom house set up, it's size is 11.1 square meters. The same measurement as the original smurf village, Papa Smurf managed to get on top of one of them and discuss the battle plans with the smurfs.

"We'll be traveling west into the forest," he yells on a bull horn, "We're going to use clubs, nail boards, and Jokey's – surprises."

"And what do we do when we see them?" asked Hefty.

"Use a blunt object and beat them to death," said Papa Smurf, "There are some edged and bladed weapons somewhere but use what we have for now and we'll have Aviator, aka Flying Smurf, to come in and give us air support. Now let's go!"

Papa Smurf managed to form several groups of smurfs and heads off into the forest as a few smurfs stayed behind to defend the camp, more snorks finally arrived and they happened to bring Junior along. Probably because he was being to arrogant back at Snorktown or something, "I don't know why I'm here," grumbled Junior, "This sucks."

"Okay Occy, you stay here until I come back." said AllStar, "Remember, guard the salt water from the smurfs, if you see one snork them!"

Occy coos and nod yes before diving deep into the lake, the gang then fills their water bottles full of the saltwater just in case. "Okay gang, let's do this." said AllStar.

"Beep beep," tooted Tooter.

Along with a couple dozen snorks and a couple dozen smurfs, the two species marched closer to each other in small squads, Brainy and Clumsy kept a low profile by climbing up a tree and staying there until things cool down.

"Just keep quiet Clumsy," advised Brainy, "We don't want to draw attention to ourselves."

"Got it," whispered Clumsy.

Papa Smurf keeps the groups in a square line formation awhile the snorks were scattered all over in a disorganized line, they dodged bushes, trees, and abandoned traps made by humans long ago. Since the Snorks had no clue about land whatsoever, this gives the Smurfs an advantage.

"Patience my smurfs," whispers Papa Smurf, "Shh, they could be anywhere by now."

"The Snorks and Smurfs prepare their weapons, simple clubs and spears made out of the forest material. As they reached the front lines, AllStar soon made a wise decision, "Let's head to the smurfs base, we'll go in and take them out there as everyone are to busy fighting at the front lines."

"Got it," said Casey and Daffney in unison.

"We'll sneak past everyone and we'll be in the Smurf village before you know it." says AllStar.

It was an eriee silence, the snorks and smurfs were just a sones throw away from each other. They came out behind their hiding places and meet face to face, it was a stand off as they stare at each other with the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly theme song being played on harmonicas by a couple of unknown individuals.

"Attack!" yelled Papa Smurf as he held a club up in the air, "Charge!"

The smurfs then charged at the snorks and the fight begins as the two sides duke it out. With the sound of war in the air, AllStar gestures to the gang to follow him. The 5 snorks sneaked around the battle front and heads off behind enemy lines, walking straight into Smurf Territory.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that were created by someone else**

**Claimer: Go to my profile to view my characters**

The Smurfs and Snorks continue to fight, at first it just looked like a scene from a Bar Brawl. Everyone were using their fist, blunt objects, and edged weapons. Even though Hunter Smurf has a bow and arrow, he can't quite hit the snorks dead center but he gave the strategy away.

There were no deaths yet, just injuries. As Hefty and Tuffy Smurf used their fist to bash away at random snorks, a couple of snorks managed to knock them out with wooden chairs. It's still unclear on where they have gotten the chairs from, probably the same place where they gotten the clubs.

They were stuck with whatever they could find, sticks and stones will have to do for now. Then metal was brought in, however they had a difficult time killing each other but managed to bash in some concussions. They were expecting immediate death, not slow death.

Several strategies then took over, first a couple of smurfs grabbed a lone snork and tied him to a tree and left him there to rot. Another snork tried to breath fire through his snorkel by drinking alcohol, it didn't work as nothing came out of his snorkel but air and ends up getting knocked unconscious because of intoxication.

Jo-Jo soon takes on Wild Smurf head to head on top of a tree, since this is their kind of environment they proved to be more violent then anyone could expect. They were experts on such primitive weapons and are yet to kill each other, Wild Smurf managed to bust Jo-jo's skull in and knocked him out cold. Jo-jo plummets to the ground and hits it hard, as he lays lifeless Wild Smurf stays on the tree and began throwing "Brown Stuff" at any snork that comes by.

A female snork tries to flash the smurfs, it caught their attention just a moment before Papa Smurf snaps them out of it and they soon chased the girl snork who's pants are down.

A couple of smurfs decided to drop acorns on top of snorks, with limited success. They came down like missiles and they bounced off the Snork's heads before landing on the ground, again there were more concussions rather than kills.

One snork tried to throw a spear at a smurf but ends up hitting a fellow snork instead, the spear got wedged between the snorks butt cheeks as it punctures through it's pants. It did not kill the snork, but it create a hilarious scene until the snork is taken back to camp as a casualty by friendly medics.

The smurfs then retreated to a wide open clearing and lure the snorks in through there, when the snorks rushed into the clearing they got a surprise as Flying Smurf came out of the sky on a biplane – made out of wood. In the back cockpit sit's Jokey who proceeds dropping his "surprise" presents on top of the snorks, the snorks move out of the way just in time as the presents hit the ground and exploded with tremendous force.

"This is going to be a surprise!" yelled Jokey as he throws a couple of present bombs at a small group of snorks, missing them completely, "Switch to the spitfire cannon Aviator!"

"Roger Jokey," responds Flying Smurf as he loops around and aims his plane's front machine gun, loaded with smurf berries. He fired away at the snorks and of course misses them completely, but surprisingly left tremendous damage on the ground.

"Who's laughing now!" roared Flying Smurf as he goes Red Baron on the snorks.

"I am!" responded Jokey.

"Not you!" spat Flying Smurf.

With no air support to speak of, the Snorks simply ran back into the forest. Unable to see the snorks, the wooden plane then turned around and flies back to the Smurf Camp. Once the plane is out of sight, the snorks re-emerge and engage hand to hand combat with the smurfs still out of the open.

Other Smurfs and Snorks fought elsewhere inside the forest, Brainy and Clumsy hang on as a battle rages underneath them. Luckily, they were so well hidden that they weren't spotted by either side. "Hey Brainy?" asked Clumsy as he hugs the trunk of the tree with all his might.

"Yeah Clumsy?" asked Brainy.

"How long are we going to stay up here?" he asked, "I need to use the bathroom."

"Then just smurf where you are," advice Brainy, "It's not that difficult and they're too busy fighting each other to notice you smurf!"

"Okay, I suppose," said Clumsy as he pulls down his pants, "Here it goes."

Brainy sat there staring upwards for about a few seconds, then he heard someone below screamed, "Damn that Wild Smurf!" yelled the unfortunate victim, must be a Snork after all.

"Finished!" cheered Clumsy.

"Shh!" shushed Brainy.

"Oh yeah," whispered Clumsy. "I'm done."

During the battle, Papa Smurf overact his role as leader and then made his profile increase. Snorks seen him shouting orders to the Smurfs and wondered if he's the leader, they then captured Scaredy Smurf and asked him about the village leader.

"He's Papa Smurf," stammered Scaredy, "He leads the smurfs, since they're – I mean, we're his children after all. Please don't hurt me!"

The snorks raised up a club and knocked Scaredy out cold with it, they fought their way out of the battle field and rushed back to camp where they tell Governor Wellington the information. "Interesting," said the Governor, intrigued, "Take out this Papa Smurf and we'll see to it that we would be victorious overnight."

"Yes sir," agreed the snorks and saluted before running off into battle again.

The governor then walks back into his tent and sat down on the desk, then someone came through the door. "I'll help turn the tide of war for you Governor," he said, "Send me out and you will hear the shots of victory, literally."

"Okay then, since your our smartest and strongest one." said the Governor, "Don't disappoint me in this."

"You would rather be horrified instead, whenever I succeed or fail." said the unknown individual, "Just listen, and you'll be changing your underpants tonight."

Back at the battlefield, Papa Smurf continues to order his smurfs in accurate position. They drove the snork back into the forest and the smurfs cheered in victory, then a 4 apple tall figure approached behind the village leader and whispers into his ear. "I'll turn up the heat on the Snorks just like my uncles did months ago."

Without turning around, Papa Smurf said with fear. "Knock your smurf out."

The snorks made an abrupt return to the clearing and the figure disappeared, Papa Smurf rounded up the smurfs and orders them to hold off the counter attack. It was successful as the Smurfs held their ground. After a few minutes of battle more smurfs arrived to assist the village leader, "To me my smurfs!" he yelled at the top of his lungs as he stands on a rock, overlooking the entire battle, "This war WAR!"

BOOM!

Both the Smurfs and Snorks stopped fighting and were scared straight, they all held their breath listening again for the sound. A few smurfs were staring at Papa Smurf in shock, some were even pointing at him. Papa Smurf looked down and see's a bloody hole in his chest, a bullet ripped right through Papa Smurf like butter and struck the ground behind him. The Smurf Leader collapses onto the ground, dead.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that were created by someone else**

**Claimer: Go to my profile to view my characters**

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Four shots were fired and four smurfs went down:

BANG! BANG!

Two more smurfs went down:

BANG!

This shot went through about 12 smurfs before striking a nearby tree and exploded, the tree toppled over and landed on an unfortunate smurf: Scaredy. The smurfs simply panic as they retreat back to safety, looking closely both sides sees green bolts shoot out of the sky and struck the smurfs with dead accuracy.

"What's going on!" cried a smurf before his head is blown to pieces by a green bolt.

About 3 kilometers away, up on a tree sits a green snork roughly AllStar's age. He was armed with a high powered scoped sniper rifle, it was first designed to be fired in the water but it proved even more powerful on land. "I'm going to be a mammal and reptile some day," sang the snork as he fires the powerful rifle, "Today I'm out here shooting my prey. As I prey plays my game, they'll find out that Radio Seaworthy is my name."

Meanwhile, AllStar and the gang heard the shots of Radio's sniper rifle. They knew all to well that it's one of their own, since Radio volunteered to be a sniper in all and also plays music for the Snorks back at Snorkland.

"Okay gang, now stay quiet." says AllStar, "We're going to try to set these mushroom houses on fire."

"On fire?" asked Casey, "What about the forest?"

"What about it?" asked AllStar.

"What if it gets out of control and starts burning down the forest?" asked Daffney.

"Let it happen, it's not ours after all and we're not going to get in trouble for this." said AllStar, twisting the facts.

The snorks gingerly approached the Smurf Village on the West side and peered through, there weren't very much smurfs around since most are out fighting in the battlefields. They could see almost no weapon, the smurfs were unprepared yet they out number the snorks by 1 to 4. "We gotta be very quiet," whispered AllStar, "Let's see what's here first."

As the snorks walked around, looking at everything. A green skinned smurf sits on top of a tree on the other side of the camp, overlooking it. He stood 4 apples tall and wears a camouflaged jacket, pants, and smurf hat. He is a smurf with both Human and Smurf DNA, evidenced by his Human like torso and a head full of short hair about a a couple of centimeters long.

"Enemy at 12 o clock," mutters the smurf to himself, "Chernov, make your family proud."

Chernov takes aim with a powerful rifle of his own, similar to Radio's Sniper Rifle but with a twist. He can fire the rifle more quicker than Radio can fire his, all of his shots are timed as he dials his scope to the correct distance and did a bit of mental math. "We thank you proudly, and bow to you deeply." he sang softly as he aims his rifle at Tooter's leg, "From the mightiest family in the world..."

"BANG!"

The bullet shot out of the sniper rifle around 3219 kilometers per hour as a green bolt and struck Tooter's leg almost immediately, crippling him. The gang turned around to find Tooter screaming horn sound effects, "HELP ME!" he tooted, "HELP ME!"

The bullet scared the crap out of the smurfs, and happened to woke up Grandpa Smurf nearby. "What's going on Chernov?" asked Painter Smurf, who was covered in red paint after being scared by the spur of the moment.

"Oh just some target practice on some snorks!" he said.

"Snorks?" asked Smurfette as she clutches Baby Smurf in her arms.

As the snorks struggle to drag their fallen comrade to safety, Chernov aims at Daffney's arm...

BANG!

The bullet shoots clean through her arm about in just a fraction of a milisecond, causing her to scream and soon revealed the Snork's position to the defending Smurfs.

BANG!

Another bullet shoot clean through Tooter's larynx, shutting him up and could no longer breath. "Tooter!" cried Casey.

"Quick, let's get him out of here!" cried Dimmy as he grabbed both of his legs.

As the smurfs close in on the Snork's position...

BANG!

Another bullet shoots clean through Dimmy's lower left arm, injuring it.

BANG!

And finally another bullet gets driven into Casey's buttocks, knocking her flat onto the ground.

"Whoops – my middle finger slipped," joked Chernov, "About 4 times."

"Let's get out of here AllStar!" cried Daffney as she took off running.

"Daffney! Wait!" cried AllStar as he musters the strength to carry Tooter over his shoulder.

"AllStar!" cried Casey, "Help!"

AllStar and Dimmy used their free arms and picked Casey up off of the ground as they run off back into the forest, by the time the Smurfs reached the area the snorks were long gone but they left behind a lot of blood. "Why didn't you kill them Chernov!" asked Harmony Smurf.

"I don't want to spoil all the fun!" said Chernov, "So I injured them for you, I'll kill them later!"

The smurfs groaned and head back off to their post, Chernov puts the safety back on his rifle and yawns. "I need to sleep more," he muttered as he rest his head on the branch, "Oh well."

The snorks didn't run off that far as they rushed to a strategic spot and tend to their wounds, AllStar got out his backpack and bandages Daffney, Dimmy, and also Casey's wounds. But Tooter is the one who need's real medical attention, he is bleeding heavily and can no longer speak in tooting sounds. "Oh look at all the blood!" sobbed Daffney as AllStar bandages Tooter's wounded leg.

"Can you breath?" asked AllStar.

Tooter just shook his head as he clutches his throat, which was oozing a lot of blood. AllStar tried his best to keep his airway open but Tooter's trachea had separated from Tooter's throat, "Tooter," insisted AllStar, "Stay with me buddy."

AllStar ends up taking out a switchblade, given to him by Radio, and sticks it through Tooter's side between his ribs. He then took out a straw and sticks it through the cut he made, then Tooter began to breath easily again. "That's only a temporary fix, we need to get Tooter back to camp pronto!" insisted AllStar.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that were created by someone else**

**Claimer: Go to my profile to view my characters**

Later that day, the smurfs soon return home in distraught. The look on their faces tell Chernov that some of them had died, no... it was Papa Smurf. He got down from his tree and rushed over to the Heartbroken Smurfs, "What happened?" asked Chernov.

"Papa Smurf got smurfed," said Hefty as he tries his best not to cry, "Along with several other smurfs."

Chernov had the smurfs lay Papa Smurf's body on a table where he took a good look at it, "Looks like a sniper shot, must have hit his heart and right lung." examined Chernov, "I think they have a Wundewaffe, cause the bullet that killed him looked like a 50 smurf caliber but this one's different. It's more gruesome..."

"A wunde what?" asked Handy.

"Wunderwaffe is German for Wonder Weapon." said Chernov, "For example, I am a Wunderwaffe myself and they also have one. This can only mean one thing, my human family has made contact with the Snorks and left a little something for them."

The smurfs gasped, but Chernov reassures, "Don't get all upset yet, we're going to go see this Wunderwaffe in action. If I stand corrected, this Wunderwaffe Snork would have green skin."

"But we've seen other Snorks with green skin!" said Hefty.

"Well this Snork will take fatal wounds as minor flesh wounds, the green smurf I shot screamed like a baby so he's no Wunderwaffe." explains Chernov, "If I put a bullet through the Wunderwaffe's back, he would stand his ground and not die. Are you ready to go Smurfing?"

"Yeah!" said the Smurfs in unison.

"Then what are you waiting for?" asked Chernov as he pulls out an AK 47 and a Barrett Sniper Rifle, the same rifle that he took pot shots at AllStar and his friends, "Let's go Smurfing then."

Later that night, the snorks managed to make it back to camp and discovers everyone was preoccupied with Radio's music playing around a campfire. He stopped and looked at AllStar from a distance, after seeing the gore the snorks were in he puts down his guitar and he and other snorks rushed to the gangs aid.

"What happened AllStar?" Radio asked, "Are you hurt?"

"I don't know," answers AllStar as they sat Casey down, "Tooter is severely injured and is in need of Medical Attention, we've been taken down by a sniper."

The snorks managed to clear a nearby table and they carried Tooter and laid him down on it, the expression on his face shows that he tries to communicate but fails to toot a single toot. Dr. Gallio arrives onto the scene and can't believe his eyes when he see's Tooter covered in his own blood, and the blood was coming from his throat rather than his wounded leg. "I never seen anything like it," says Dr. Gallio as he tries to help Tooter, "Give me some room Snorks!"

Radio took one good look at Tooter's throat and discovers some black resin on the gaping wound, it appears burned and it was violent. "It looks like a bullet wound to me," diagnoised Radio, "But only a sniper with a steady hand and a accurate sniper rifle can put a bullet that precise, how far were you from the shooter?"

"11 meters," says AllStar, "We went to the Smurf's camp, and we discovered the hard way that they had a sniper on duty at that time. He shot at Tooter first, then Daffney in the arm, Dimmy in the hand, and Casey in the butt. Then shot Tooter in the throat."

"And you came out unscathed," pinpointed Radio, "You are either smart or lucky to avoid getting shot."

"He didn't missed though, every shot he fired hits us." explained Dimmy.

"He shot me in the butt," complained Casey as she tries to walk, "The bullet is still lodged in my pelvis, I could feel it."

"That explains why they were carrying you via underneath your arms," said Radio as he puts on some latex gloves, "Let's see the wound, I'm going to need to extract the bullet out of your rump to see what the sniper is using."

With Dignity, Casey nervously removes the bandages and pulls her pants down awhile leaning on the table. Everyone noticed the size of the wound was the width of a sand dollar and was bloody as it was disgusting. Radio takes out a pair of clean pliers and sticks it inside the wound, as he poke around fellow snorks pinned Casey down and attempt to muffle her screams do to the intense pain.

"Got it," says Radio as he pulls out the bullet, the pain in Casey's rump mostly subsided and she finally relaxed as Radio strokes her head with his hand. "Good Girl, Good Girl, thank you for your cooperation."

Radio holds up the bullet for everyone to see, it was huge just the thickness of a snork's thumb and it was soaked with Casey's blood. It was pointed compared to Radio's bullets as his were dull, proving that he didn't do it. "50 smurf caliber," identified Radio, "Similar to the 50 snork caliber I used, but this one is pointed. If this would went through Casey's pelvis and out of her thigh or lap, she would be dead on arrival back to camp."

Unaware on what's going on, Governor Wellington walked out of his tent and approached the gory scene. What's going on here?" he asked, "I demand an explanation."

"Governor, we got ourselves a Wunderwaffe on our hands," explains Radio as he shows him the bullet, "He injured 3 snorks and severely crippled one."

"What is a Wunderwaffe anyway?" asked the governor.

"It means Wonder Weapon in German," explains Radio, "A fine example of a Wunderwaffe is me, and the Smurfs also have one in their ranks. Things are going to become interesting from this point on, AllStar and his friends are lucky to be alive.

Tooter abruptly began coughing rapidly as he wheezes, Dr. Gallio tries his best to clear his airway but there's nothing more he could do. Tooter soon passes out and stops breathing, it was later revealed that the blood had clotted all over Tooter's lungs and gills causing him to suffocate. "He's dead," sighed Dr. Gallio," Asphyxiation and massive internal bleeding."

"Tooter!" sobbed Daffney.

"He's not the only one to expire," says Dr. Gallio, "Several Snorks had died tonight before Tooter, from bleeding in the brain alone after getting bashed by wooden sticks."

"I'd took out multiple smurfs with my Sniper Rifle earlier," says Radio, "I even killed their leader, they should be thinking of revenge by now."

"How far were you when you sniped them?" asked Dimmy.

"Three Kilometers to be exact," says Radio, "When I shot the leader, he didn't noticed right away as he was busy screaming at his Smurfs. He then noticed it when he heard the gunshot a second later. I pretty much slaughtered a dozen of them before they retreated out of the clearing."

Nearby, Chernov leads the smurfs through the vegetation and approached the Snork's Camp. HE had strapped his AK 47 onto his back and gestures to the smurfs to half, "Wait here, Hefty and Grandpa Smurf – you come with me. I'll do the talking and fighting for now. When they all attack at once, you smurfs know what to do."

Chernov took out a pistol and fires it into the air, the gunshot scared the Snorks almost to death as it was freakishly close. "What was that?" asked Governor Wellington.

"Me," says Chernov as he came walking into the camp, waving a white flag in one hand and hiding something behind his back with the other. Grandpa Smurf and Hefty Smurf stands right next to Chernov, acting as body guards.

"So where's your Wunderwaffe?" he asked as he tossed the white flag over his shoulder, which landed on an unsuspecting Smurf in the process.

"Me," said Radio as he steps forward, "And who are you?"

"Chernov Reznov," says Chernov, "And I got a surprise for you Snork."

The green smurf then reveals what he has been hiding behind his back, Radio's face was priceless as he gasped at what he saw.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that were created by someone else**

**Claimer: Go to my profile to view my characters**

"Rex!" cried Radio at the top of his lungs.

Radio's pet green octopus appeared beat up, bruised, and was missing a tentacle. He whines for mercy as he was trapped in Chernov's death grip. The Snorks soon noticed a tear trailing down Radio's face, "Oh please smurf!" he pleaded, "Don't hurt my pup, he's all I got!"

"Assuming that the look on your face means you created him by genetic engineering since he was found on land," noted Chernov, "The smurfs were just about to tear him apart and Hefty here tore off a tentacle, I stepped in of course and pulled you octopup out of that mess."

"Come on Chernov, please give him back!" cried Radio, "Please give me back my pup!"

"Since we're going to die anyway..." Chernov's voice trails off for a second, then changes direction, "It was a smart move having a companion, but you should keep an eye on your pet next time."

The green smurf sets Rex down and the octopus rushes towards Radio crying, he picked up Rex and cradle him in his arms like a baby in an effort to comfort him. "You just made two mistakes," said Chernov, "One is never kill the Smurf Leader this early in the war and second is to never reveal your weakness to the face of the enemy."

Radio then puts down Rex and the octopus rushes off into the salt lake where he watches the scene along with Occy, Chernov took off his AK 47 and hands it to Hefty as Radio balls his fist. The green snork suddenly took off his shirt and tossed aside, then charges at Chernov. The green snork quickly took of his camouflage jacket and tossed it to Grandpa Smurf, with both Wunderwaffes wearing no upper clothing they soon engaged hand to hand combat.

First Radio throws the first punch but Chernov used the snork's own momentum to his advantaged and tripped him to the ground, "So we have underprivileged Smurf and Snorks duking it out tonight," says Chernov as he pins Radio to the ground, "What do you think cousin?"

"Cousin?" asked Radio as he back kicked Chernov in the face which knocked him back as Radio get's back onto his feet.

"You smell like a Reznov," said Chernov, "You even act like on to."

Radio charges at Chernov, but the smurf nonchalantly used his foot to kick the snork back. Since Chernov is the tallest on the battlefield, about 4 inches tall in human measurement compared to the Smurfs and Snorks 3 inches tall, he has a high advantage over Radio.

"How do I act like one!" spat Radio.

"Your whining like a little girl and pouting like on," noted Chernov, "I assume that is your own mom which is my aunt and the only two girls of my family who fit that description is..."

The green snork soon charged at Chernov again, but he grabbed Radio, lift him up into the air, and slammed him down on the ground like he weighed nothing. "Where's your mom?" groaned Radio as he felt his head spin and begins to see stars.

"My mom is dead," answered Chernov, "And you never met your mom."

Chernov then pressed his foot down on Radio's stomach and pressed down hard as he can, "I don't have a mother!" squealed Radio as he squirm violently, trying to shake out of Chernov's foot.

"That's a cold thing to say," said Chernov, "Prove to me that you're REALLY a Wunderwaffe then."

Radio grabbed Chernov's foot and twisted it, as Chernov yelped Radio grabbed his leg and flung him to the ground. The snork quickly gets back up to his feet and jumps on top of Chernov, "Either I think you broke my ankle or you also have incredible strength," the snork laughed, "But what about brains?"

"Simple enough that I'm the only snork who has an IQ of..." began Radio.

"200?" guessed Chernov as he quickly grabbed the snork by his neck.

"Yes." wheezed Radio.

Chernov then gets back up to his feet and carried Radio by his arm, then tossed the snork across the camp and the snork impacted against a tree. "Control your anger," advised Chernov, "Or at least focus it, might get you somewhere."

Finally, Radio lost it and charged at Chernov with lightning speed. He jumped onto the tall smurf, bring him to the ground and then flipped him onto his belly. Chernov then used his own body to catapult Radio up into the air as he gets back to his feet, the snork drops to the ground in a thud and the smurf jumped on top of the snork and landed on him.

There were no conversation there, the two began to fight dirty. After just 30 minutes of hand to hand combat, they have dented the ground about 30 times, body slammed each other 40 times, and did several imitating several wrestling moves found on TV about 50 times. Finally Radio pulls out a switchblade and clicked it open, then Chernov pulls out a machete out of his pants.

"You kept a blade that long in your camouflage pants the whole time?" asked Radio.

"I forgot it was there until you pulled out a switchblade," answers Chernov, "Since this is obviously unfair and it is boring to me because it's easy – I'll go easy on you with a smaller blade."

Chernov throws the machete at Radio and bend sharply backwards, imitating a scene on Matrix Reloaded. The machete wedged itself deep into the trunk of a tree, and it looked impossible to remove the blade by hand. The smurf then pulls out a combat knife and now its even, the two Wunderwaffes charged at each other and everyone gasped as they stabbed each other in the gut.

After holding position for a second, the two withdrew their blades from each other and stepped back. The stab wounds began to bleed as their knives dripped with each other's blood, the two stood there for a moment staring at each other's wounds as they rapidly heal right before their very eyes. The wounds had sealed themselves up, leaving no scar behind. Not a trace of it ever existed.

Chernov soon smiled and puts away his combat knife as Radio puts away his switchblade, "We'll settle this at the dam Rad," said Chernov as he approached the snork, "We'll kill each other there."

"Agreed," said Radio as he shook Chernov's hand, "With guns?"

"No," said Chernov, "Stuff that goes BOOM!"

"Oh now you're speaking my language," laughed Radio.

A drone of an engine zoomed into the ears of the Smurfs and Snorks, the sun was just coming up as both sides see a wooden airplane coming out of nowhere and heading towards the camp at high speed.

"Now for the real action," said Chernov, "The truce is off!"

"COVER!" cried Radio, "Its every smurf and snork for themselves!"

Chernov and Radio soon scatter as the plane fires away it's smurfberry machine gun, and the war resumes.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that were created by someone else**

**Claimer: Go to my profile to view my characters**

Flying Smurf released a bomb barrage on the Snork Camp, the dumb bombs or surprise presents were soon dropped all over the place. Some Snork finally got killed by the bombs as they took out several buildings, back on the ground the Smurfs and Snorks engage hand to hand combat. Their fighting skills looked like crap, but they are finally managed to kill each other with whatever they could find.

Hunter Smurf managed to fire a couple of arrows at the Snork, managed to score a direct hit. Radio and Chernov managed to get to their sniper rifles and began taking out each others fellow comrades with them, since they are so close together the rifles were loud and ear bursting. And unfortunately for Hunter Smurf, Radio killed him with a single bullet through the Temporal Lobe.

All the Smurfs and Snorks were scattered all over the camp, since it was also 11 square meters it was fairly large and there's enough room to walk around for their size. Any Smurf or Snork caught out in the open were either killed by the two or were severely wounded, Flying Smurf soon comes back and targets Radio directly.

"Are you ready Jokey?" asked Flying Smurf.

"Never better!" responds Jokey as he prepares to get another present, then Sassette popped out within the cockpit. "Sassette! What are you doing here!"

I just wanna see the view up here!" she cried.

"Well help me smurf these presents below," ordered Jokey as they each grab a present, "Aim for the buildings!"

Flying Smurf attempts to gun down Radio but the snork was just too quick for him, he jumped into a ditch until he no longer hears the engine of the plane. "I gotta take out that airplane," he says to himself. He see's the plane out in the distance as it was turning around for another run, Radio aims his Sniper Rifle at the airplane and has the three smurfs in his scope.

He center's in on Sassette and then leads the bullet, such an impossible shot for a moving target. Radio tunes the scope, then fires where Sassette will be. It was a brilliant prediction, the plane went straight into the path of the bullet and Sassette took it in the stomach. She yelped and collapsed into the seat with her hands over her stomach, Jokey Smurf was horrified.

"Sassette?" asked Jokey, "Are you okay?"

"I don't know," cried Sassette as she removed her hands, and her intestines spills out into her arms.

"Not again!" cried Jokey, "Aviator! We gotta head back to camp! Sassette's injured!"

Radio centers in on Jokey, then fires. The bullet ripped through the Smurf's skull like butter and it killed him instantly, he fell out of the plane and landed in the Salt Lake below. "Jokey?" asked Flying Smurf.

Finally, Radio fires another bullet. This time it hits the fuselage and explodes, shooting fire into the cockpit setting Flying Smurf on fire. A sharp turn caused Sassette to fall out of the plane, as she screams Chernov see's her falling straight for the ground and immediately act. He dived straight onto the ground and caught her with his arms, it was a close save but Chernov realized that she is still in danger.

"We've gotta get you back to camp!" cried Chernov, "Retreat! Retreat!"

The Smurfs soon pull back as Flying Smurf crashes the plane into the Snork Camp, providing a diversion to allow the Smurfs to get away. It only stunned the Snorks and they soon began chasing the Smurfs, Chernov ignored them and heads straight back towards the Smurf Camp.

As most Snorks chased off the Smurfs, the burning wrecked airplane managed to shoot some sparks into the forest setting the vegetation on fire. There were no equipment available to put out the fires and instead the Snorks gathered whatever they have and head for the lake, AllStar noticed Governor Wellington was shot in the head and his body lies lifeless on the ground with Junior at it's side.

AllStar's initial thought was Dr. Gallio, he rushed over to the medical tent where he finds it destroyed by a present bomb. Dr. Gallio climbs out of the wreckage and was limping, "I think I broke my leg!" he cried as he tried to walk.

"Come on Dr. Gallio, to the lake!" cried AllStar.

"No use going to the lake!" cried Dr. Gallio as he points towards it.

AllStar realized that the lake was polluted, the Smurfs happened to dump Chlorine into the Salt Lake killing the local fish population. The smell was strong and horrid as the Snorks wisely did not venture into it, since it was green colored and had rotting fish floating above it. Radio rushed up to AllStar and was holding a dead Rex in his arms, Rex appeared to be poisoned.

"They killed my pup!" cried Radio, "I'll kill them for this!"

Radio sets Rex down on a picnic table and ran off into the woods to join the Snorks in the chase of the Smurfs. AllStar soon realized something after seeing Rex's body, "If that happened to Rex," says AllStar, "Then... Oh Snork! I gotta find Occy!"

"Don't worry about me AllStar," said Dr. Gallio, "I'll be fine."

"Okay Uncle Gallio," says AllStar as he rushed off, "Occy! Occy where are you!"

Chernov managed to get Sassette back to the Smurf village, but it was too late. Smurfette rushed over and was horrified at what she saw, "Again!" she asked in shock.

"I'm sorry Smurfette," said Chernov as he shook his head, "She's gone."

The green smurf hands Sassette's body to Smurfette, she simply walks over to a pair of steps leading to a mushroom house's front door and sat down to mourn her sister.

"The snorks are coming!" screamed Hefty as he points to he forest, "Including their Wunderwaffe!"

"I'll go to the dam and hold off Radio there," says Chernov to the smurfs, "All you guys do is to keep the snorks at bay as long as possible, we can't afford to loose the camp."

"How long will you be gone?" asked Handy.

"You won't ever see me again," said Chernov as he walks away and waves, "See you guys in Underworld."

Chernov soon ran out of the smurf camp and rushes towards the dam in a hurry, minutes later the snorks arrived and the two sides began to fight oncem ore. Smurfette rushes inside and placed Sassette's body on a bed. Snappy, Slouchy, and Nat quickly rushed in as a butterfly follows them and slammed the door behind them.

"They see Baby Smurf sitting in the crib crossing his eyes as Smurfette cries over Sassette's body. "Smurfette," asked Snappy, "What happened?"

"They killed her!" cried Smurfette, she quickly got up and rushed out of the mushroom house crying and heads into the heat of the battle. The Smurflings soon took a good look at Sassette for themselves and were horrified to see her intestines sticking out of her gut.

"Ew, it happened again?" asked Snappy as he feel's Sassette's hand, "Her hand feels cold, there's just no sign of life in her anymore."

"Really?" asked Slouchy as he reached over and opened one of Sassette' eyelids with his thumb, "Yup, she's dead alright."

As Slouchy closed her eye, Nat simply cried as he used the unfortunate butterfly accompanying them as a tissue to blow his nose. "Oh, don't cry Nat," said Snappy as he hugs him and pat him on the back.

"Who's idea was it to create Sassette in the first place?" asked Nat as he wiped away a tear off his face.

"I think it was me," said Slouchy, "Or was that Slouchy, I dunno."

"I think I was in love with Sassette," mumbled Snappy, "Now she's gone, what does it mean for us?"

As they thought of that question, a grenade crashed through the window and landed onto the center of the room. It soon released a cloud of Tetrodotoxin and The Smurflings soon coughed rapidly and collapsed onto the ground, Baby Smurf simply passes out with less drama. Killing them all.

Outside, Radio fires away at the smurfs with his AK 47 taking down one smurf after another, Hefty tries to jump Radio from behind but the snork flipped the smurf over his head and snapped his neck after hitting the ground. Radio then rushes off towards the dam as Smurfette took a club to her temporal lobe, and dies before she hits the ground.

Speaking of brains, Brainy and Clumsy continues to hang onto the tree with all his strength. However, Clumsy doesn't want to hang on forever. "Brainy?" he asked, "I'm tired and hungry, I wanna go down."

"Yeah I'm hungry too," says Brainy as he rubbed his stomach, "But suit yourself."

"Just as Clumsy tries to climb down, an explosion occurred below and a snork screamed in pain, "On second thought, I'm staying up here until things cool down." he says.

About 10 kilometers away, Chernov sits on top of the dam overlooking both the Smurf and Snork camps. He could see a forest fire caused by the plane crash earlier growing in strength and size, he could even smell the bleach odor coming from the polluted Salt Lake.

"What a view up here," complimented Chernov to himself, "I wonder what's taking Radio so long."

Radio managed to climb 200 meters up onto the dam and drags himself to the flat top, "I just realized something," he pants.

"What?" asked Chernov.

"I just realized this dam is made out of wood," said Radio, "And Super Glue and Mud."

"So, you wanna finish this now?" asked Chernov as stood up.

"Radio then burst out crying as he buries his head into his knees, "What's wrong Rad?" asked Chernov.

The green snork looked at Chernov in the eyes and sobbed, "They killed my poor pup! With Chlorine!"

"You can get revenge on the smurfs by blowing up this dam," hinted Chernov, "Who ever built it did a half ass job, this dam is ready to give away any minute so let's blow it up."

"But you'll drown the smurfs," says Radio.

"And you'll wash out what ever salt that's out there," says Chernov, "And that would kill the snorks."

"So where's the TNT?" asked Radio.

"Here," says Chernov as he steps aside, revealing a barrel of TNT connected via a long cord to an electronic detonator.

Chernov grabs the barrel and tossed it into the river that is being blocked by the dam and it sinks he then helped Radio get up to his feet and hands the snork the detonator.

"You have the honors Rad," says Chernov, "Put everybody out there out of their misery."

Radio stares at the detonator for a moment, then flicks the safety cap open with his thumb and activated the first of two switches."

"If we blow up the dam..." muttered Radio.

"I know Radioactive, but it would be a fun ride to our demise." noted Chernov.

Radio hesitated at first, then pressed the second switch. Time seems to slow down as the TNT explodes, blowing a hole through the wooden dam, and a wall of water breaks through as the entire dam disintegrates. There's no turning back.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that were created by someone else**

**Claimer: Go to my profile to view my characters**

As the river demolishes the dam, Chernov and Radio falls right into the raging river. At the Smurf Camp, all the Smurfs suddenly stop and froze at the sound of the wave. All the Snorks did not know what's going on until Hefty figured out what it was, "FLOOD!" he screamed, "IT'S EVERY SMURF AND SNORK FOR THEMSELVES!"

The wave came crashing into the camp and everyone simply ran, it was huge as it swallowed pretty much everything. No Snork or Smurf could withstand the wave, the wave is so tall that when it charged at Brainy and Clumsy it scooped Clumsy up and carried him away.

"Clumsy!" cried Brainy.

"Save yourself Brainy!" cried Clumsy's fading voice.

Brainy holds on for dear life as the flood waters mow down anything that isn't immediately bolted down, the waters soon reached the Snork Camp where the snorks were too horrified to do anything. AllStar just stood there as the wave washes over him, as he swept through the current he tries not to breath since the water contains Chlorine from the lake and no breathable saltwater.

AllStar managed to climb a tall tree and out of the flood waters, he looks down and was horrified to watch his fellow friends being carried away by the flood waters. "Uncle Gallio!" cried AllStar, "Casey! Dimmy! Somebody!"

No response, just the roar of the flood water as it zipped through the forest with lightning speed. After just 30 minutes of being washed out, the entire region is soon submerge in 3 square meters of water. AllStar no longer hears any screams as the roar of the flood waters soon subside, the cry of war was soon replaced by an eerie silence and AllStar sat on a branch and passes out from exhaustion.

When he woke up, his mind was in a fog. Still an eerie silence and there were no birds chirping. As AllStar sat up, he looked around and saw that the flood waters have dropped dramatically. The sky was white, no sign of the sun just the glow of it. AllStar never felt so miserable in his life, but he knows he has to get down.

"Uncle Gallio!" cried AllStar, "Occy! Casey! Daffney! Dimmy! Junior!"

His only response was the echo of his voice, AllStar felt like he was the Last Snork On Earth. The thought of it made him cry, it's time to survey the damage. When AllStar climbs down, he smelled a slight bleach smell. "Chlorine," he mumbled, "Oh no."

The water was heavily chlorinated and polluted, there is no way any Snork or creature to survive off of this water. He can't believe the sight of so many Snork bodies floating everywhere, most were faced down awhile the ones who are face up had Xs on their eyes. As AllStar walks around through the knee deep water, he then found Occy pinned against a tree.

Occy was poisoned by the Chlorine, if that hadn't killed him then the trauma to his head might have killed him or it's the freshwater alone. AllStar sobs as he picked up Occy with his hands, the red octopus looked pale and he feels so cold. However Occy looked like he was only sleeping, peaceful despite what he been through. AllStar could do nothing but cry, he just gets out of the water with Occy in his arms and sat on a log – and just cries.

Nearby, Brainy soon gets up himself. Noticing things have gone quiet, he soon climbed down and stepped into the cold water. "Hello?" he called, "Anybody there?"

No response.

"Hello?"

As Brainy walks through the flood water, he stared at several bodies of his brother smurfs. "Harmony, Clumsy, Dopey, Hunter, Hefty, Smurfette." he sobbed, "There are no more smurfs left!"

"What would Papa Smurf do if he was the last Smurf on earth?" asked Brainy, "Well it doesn't matter now."

Awhile walking, he kept an eye out for anyone and he knows his goals are clear. "Finish the fight," he thought, "No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death."

He calculated that if he's the only smurf alive then there's only one snork alive as well, it's time to find him and put an end to this. Brainy heads off to the Snork camp, trying to stay out of the water as much as he can. It was difficult to navigate through the swampy terrain, finally Brainy managed to find AllStar sitting there with his dead pet octopus.

Brainy climbs up on top of a tree then crawls his way towards AllStar on a branch, when he's underneath him he jumps off and tackles the snorks as he lands on him.

The two grunted as AllStar drops the dead Occy back into the water and the two soon wrestle each other on the log, AllStar soon dragged himself into the water and Brainy along with it as they continue to punch each other violently. The two quickly crawled up onto dry land and then the two stared at each other with balled fist at their sides, scratched, bruised, and beaten up – Brainy and AllStar stood there in a stand off.

"You're ready?" asked Brainy.

"I've got nothing to loose," growled AllStar.

"Me too." said Brainy.

The two then tackled each other and went Chuck Norris on each other, even though their fighting skills are bad they still managed to produce a lot of blows to each other. AllStar tried kicking Brainy in the groin but he stood his ground and returned the kick, the snork staggered backwards as Brainy kicked him in the stomach and pushed him into the water between two trees.

Brainy obviously knows that AllStar is not dead as the snork didn't resurfaced so he tried to think of a plan, then he saw it. One of Jokey Smurf's surprise presents, unexploded, sitting nearby in the water. He picked it up and managed to toss it out into the lake, far out into the lake. It landed on the surface of it and stays afloat.

"Gotta make it explode," thought Brainy, then he see's a familiar tool.

It was a Harpoon Gun, sitting there in the water just barely visible. Brainy soon grabbed it and aims it at the present, doing the quick math at the distance. AllStar soon resurfaced as he gasped the air, just half way towards the present.

"Surprise!" cried Brainy as he fires the harpoon.

AllStar watches as the harpoon shoots through the air and over his head, when he saw where it's going to land he desperately swam towards Brainy. The harpoon hits the present and explodes, blowing AllStar out of the water and back onto dry land.

Brainy's ears were ringing from the explosion but they soon gone away, when he looked at AllStar the snork was still alive as he was still moving. AllStar soon coughed out blood, and lots of it. Blood was pouring out of his snorkel and out of his eyes and ear canals, he had his hands on his stomach indicating that AllStar is bleeding internally.

The snork simply stared at Brainy awhile wheezing, Brainy soon sees Chernov's machete nearby. It was stuck onto a log, the same tree where Chernov thrown it into. He grabbed the handle and pulled it out of the log, it was huge as he welded the blade.

Brainy then approached AllStar and looked down at him with a neutral expression on his face, he took the machete and held it with both hands up in the air. And drove the machete deep into AllStar's torso, all the way through his back.

AllStar stopped wheezing and passes out, then dies.

Brainy pulled the blade out of AllStar and stared at it as it dripped Snork blood onto the ground, he then looked back at AllStar then back at the blade and smiles. "Smurf!" cheered Brainy as he wields it up in the air, "SMURF!

**THE SMURFS HAD WON THE WAR**

**THE END**


End file.
